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Couples counselling

“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The power that connection holds in our lives was confirmed when the main concern about connection emerged as the fear of disconnection; the fear that something we have done or failed to do, something about who we are or where we come from, has made us unlovable and unworthy of connection.”   Brené Brown

We all long for harmonious relationships, but ongoing challenges can be too much to handle.

We want to offer you the best help possible so you can be happy in your primary relationship. We help you find the real reasons for your difficulties (which may be different to what you think they are).

If you have children, you may agree that children need parents who are “happy enough”. If your children show challenging behaviour you will like to hear that they almost immediately change once parents improve their relationship with one another.

Check your relationship issues

  • You’ve lost the spark?
  • You live together like flatmates, lack of passion, emotional disconnection,?
  • Constant niggling, nagging, complaining
  • Lack of family support, lack of mutual support
  • Lack of personal space
  • Not feeling appreciated,
  • lack of affection and intimacy
  • Unresolvable conflicts
  • Adjusting to a new baby / becoming a family
  • Feeling controlled
  • Feeling lonely
  • Feeling anxious
  • Unfulfilled desire to have children
  • Sexual difficulties

How can Couples counselling help?

Couples counselling is helping you to identify the factor that are underlying your issues. Relationship issues have a visible part and an invisible part, like only a small portion of an iceberg is visible. The reasons that led to the difficulties you seek counselling for are invisible. For successful outcomes they need to be seen and understood.

What to expect in the first sessions:

At the beginning couples are distressed and literally ‘stuck’, often not able to see the silver lining behind the cloud. As a first step, strategies can be implemented to calm the situation and to develop a good enough foundation for the next step.

The next step in Couples counselling is skill building. New ways of communicating are implemented and applied, being able to better understand emotionally and offer acceptance for the other having different preferences and needs. Learning to talk about difficult or controversial topics, learning to make mutually agreeable decisions, shaping a relationship of rich exchange of giving and taking and dealing with unfinished business are further options in couples counselling. New ways of relating become more and more convenient as you become more skilled. Depending on your issue constellation, this process can be shorter or longer, but is the phase in counselling that can best described as ‘work phase’. The destination is a more functional marriage.

A third phase in Couples counselling can be described as consolidation of the learned, spreading out sessions (e.g. once a month) and slowly fade out counselling.

Couple sessions can be combined with individual sessions, depending on your individual situation. The counsellor is neutral that means his focus is on improving the relationship and he does not take sides with a person.

A functional marriage keeps us healthier and even helps having a longer life by reducing stress. Improve your relationship is rewarding. You know you can do it because you did it. The improvements in your marriage are the results of the efforts you put in. Separation is not the automatic end of your problems; you may bring unfinished business into a new relationship and chances are that troubles will start sooner or later.

Call and enquiry. The best time to start your journey is … now. You guessed it ;-).

 

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